The club remains the same and my extended absence will go unnoticed for the most part. My intention was for it to be permanent. We’re in a recession and unfortunately, plans change.
I approached the front entrance of the club wearing ‘the uniform’. This consists of something with a little style, anything from, jeans to a business suit because clothing won’t matter in a few minutes… The most important elements were the accessories, the wig, false eyelashes, lips that had a shine to no end and tasted like pineapple, flawless skin with the help of MAC and for me, an air of ‘Juicy Couture’ perfume, my favorite. The club had added a nice touch since I had been away. Two red ropes marked the direct route to the front door and gave the place a ‘red carpet’ feeling.
I conjured up all of the confidence I could muster and gave myself a mental picture of my own ‘Sasha Fierce’ tearing it up center stage, bills falling through the air. Not the mental picture I had as a little girl but one that put some sway in my hips and a smirk on my face. That was my most necessary element, an essential tool of the trade, attitude. Approachability is also key. Men want what they cannot have and a beautiful woman with an attitude showing them just enough attention is usually what they cannot have.
Roddy was at the door of the club, wearing black, looking like he could definitely have a couple guns strapped somewhere or other. He looked good, at his best, handsome. He was thick, he was always thick but he looked solid, very solid. He had a strut to his own step and he gave me his best smile. He has a warm smile and it’s genuine. Roddy is our head of security. Roddy is the man that would jump in front of a bullet or snap a neck to protect anyone working in that club. This I know. I feel safe with him there and he takes his position as head of security seriously with good reason. Being one of the premier black clubs in all of Southern Arizona and the only one in Phoenix, we could at times attract some shady patronage. Roddy always has a big warm hug for me and a smile that makes me feel like its not so bad for me to be here after all, reassurance, acceptance. I did not want to come back and work in this club. At 34 years old, this is not where I intend to be.
In this business it was very difficult to find a club that treated you as at all valuable, an employee, someone that mattered to the business. The truth was, in most topless clubs they find young girls by the dozens to strip for money as long as they have the clientele to keep their pockets full and even sometimes if they didn’t. They treated the girls like cattle, they didn’t notice if one was gone for a month, six months or forever. The club management, owners, etc, didn’t usually notice at all, nor did they care. The owner of this club had sent me an email, a month after I left, just to see how I was doing. That mattered to me, it mattered much more than he probably realized. It made me feel there was some sort of respect, some sort of connection, outside of money and the people that ran the place care about the people that work there. That matters to me a whole lot. In most clubs, no one would have noticed had I been gone for months and had they noticed, they wouldn’t have contacted me with much concern, if any. The people I work with and for at ****** ***** are good people and that’s important. It is the little things that make it possible continue to do this job and that was one of them, a big one.
I gave Roddy a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Where YOU been?!?” He had a thick, deep, rough voice, a MAN. His smile was butter though. You could tell he had a heart of gold even though I’m not sure he realized it. Part of his job was to be a hard ass and he took that role to heart but his smile was genuine, a part of him, it could have never been considered hard.
“I moved back home, remember, I told you I was leaving.” He acknowledged that with a slight nod. I looked at my feet. “ I haven’t been able to find a job down there. Then I realized where I was and what I was doing and I raised my head, this was not the place to be feeling sentimental about my employment situation. I was at work! “Thank G-d at this age I can come in and work because otherwise I’d be in some real trouble right now.”
I painted a thick smile across my lips and looked over at him as if this was the best thing in the world and made me immeasurably happy. A lie. I had to lie often once I walked through those doors it was part of the job, another element. I lied about my name, I lied about the answers to most of the questions these men would ask. I lied bout the mood I was in and how I felt about being in this place and I did it well.
Roddy looked over at me as if I was not fooling him in the least and gave me another hug, a genuine show of support. ‘You’ll be fine baby girl. You look damn good!” He smiled and grabbed my bags from my hands, opened the door for me and I walked back into the club…
